the most powerfulest card

I just pretended to buy “the most powerfulest” Pokemon card off some weird online storefront, for .80 + 2.50 in shipping, cleaning out Paul’s and Annie’s allowance balance. It’s an Arceus vmax, 10000 health/8000 damage, in case you didn’t know. The ship date is in January. Paul doesn’t mind how long it will take—he’ll take a “seasonally long nap” until it arrives. “Like hibernating?” I ask. YES. “You’ll miss all the holidays!” “That’s okay!” Annie is also going to hibernate. They are creating their cozy nest, in fact. Annie pops out of her room. “Mom, good news about the hibernating: I spent all day cleaning boogers out of nose, so I’ll have a clear nose for it!”

This is all true, if surreal. Also true: I will be seeing a whole lots of ads for Pokemon cards.


i hope i don’t beat this spirit out of her

[Annie, 45 minutes after bedtime. Her 3rd appearance at her door, and perhaps the 10th time we’ve intervened since 7:30.]

Annie: Mom, can I have one more question?

Me: Annie, I’m really disappointed to see you out of bed. This is the time to be resting our bodies.

Annie: But Mom, I needed to tell you that Paul shared some of his lovies with me.

Me: Okay, but I don’t understand why you needed to get out of bed and tell me that, or—Paul shouldn’t be—he shouldn’t be out of bed either, even sharing lovies.

Annie: But Mom, I just wanted to tell you about kindness.


Me, with a softer tone: Oh gosh, Annie. I do, I do like hearing about kindness. But—

Annie: And it’s a dog family. Okay, goodnight.

Me: Goodnight.

Annie: Mom, do you know who I love the most?

Me: Who?

Annie: My whole family.

Me: That’s LOVELY, Annie. Goodnight.

Annie: Goodnight!

[10 minutes later, still listening to them chatter]