Santarchy

So Clare’s been here for a week, looking for housing, finding housing, getting acquainted with Berkeley, browsing for bridesmaid dresses, and, yesterday, dressing up as Santa and roaming the streets. I’d been hearing about the whole flash mob phenomenon for a few years. There were zombies lurching around and “attacking” people at Halloween, and apparently a pillow fight in Union Square last month (people brought concealed pillows, and at a certain time took them out and started whacking each other). So yesterday joining a mob of unruly Santas sounded much more appealing than working on final class projects.

santa clare drinking

And boy was it.

About fifty East Bay santas met up at the Oakland ferry terminal (well, first at an obliging bar) and took the 10am ride across the Bay to congregate with the SF crowd. After a little milling around, a lot of photo opportunities, and a round of bloody marys, the Santas were on the move to the local Hooters, where the slide into debauchery began in earnest.

ass slapping santa

Several pitchers and slapped-asses later, the mob walked up a big hill in order to infest a landmark (Lombard Street, the curvy part).

santas on lombard

Then it was on to play Twister in a playground, stop for a snack (and a drink), and continue to wander the streets. At this point, our mob was large enough to pretty much shut them down.

santa twister

Word of advice to enforcers of law and order: if you ever encounter a roving mob, showing them topless dancers will completely stall them out. After an hour in the Hustler club (filled with Santas—quite a photo op, which I would have captured if they hadn’t been so snippy about cameras), Clare and I left our brethren to BART home. For all I know they’re still out there.

Today I’m bed-bound after a bad ankle-twist outside the strip club, which I was too drunk to really notice at the time and walked a mile + on after the fact (defying the single piece of advice we’d received from a Santa-Mob-Veteran: don’t drink so much that you fall down). Fortunately, Bryan is expert in ankle-care, and I needed to catch up on school work anyway. Conclusion: mobs are fun, especially when Christmas-themed.

All the pictures are up on gallery.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *